Courage is not the absence of fear. It is fear walking.
Fear can coexist with courage.
In my practice, I often see clients grappling with their fears, feeling stuck because they believe they must eliminate these fears to move forward. The reality is that fear can coexist with courage. It’s about recognizing that fear is a part of the human experience and does not have to dictate our actions. Courage is found in the moments when we acknowledge our fear, feel its presence, and then choose to take the next step anyway.
Courage is fear walking. Courage is often misunderstood as the absence of fear, but true courage is not about living without fear — it's about moving forward despite it. I remind my clients regularly that courage is not a state of being where fear doesn't exist. Rather, it is the act of walking with fear and continuing on our path regardless.
Fear is not the problem. Fear helps protect us and keep us safe. It is a short-lasting, high-alert emotion in response to a perceived physical or psychological danger that prompts us to self-protect. In some ways, fear can give us clarity on what is important to us.
Rather, the problem is avoidance. To feel comfortable, we may find ourselves avoiding doing or saying the things that will evoke fear and other distressing emotions. Avoidance often steers us away from alignment with our core values, costing us meaningfulness, deeper relationships, and even true belonging. As such, the cycle of stuckness in our comfort zones can feel increasingly hollow over time.
Avoidance will never make you less afraid. When we avoid situations, conversations, or challenges that trigger our anxiety, we might feel a fleeting sense of safety. However, this safety is superficial. The fear we avoid doesn’t vanish; it lingers and often intensifies. This is because avoidance reinforces the idea that the feared situation is dangerous and must be evaded, which only solidifies the fear in our minds.
Accepting fear as a companion. When we confront our fears, we don’t magically transform into fearless beings. Instead, we learn to accept fear as a natural companion on our journey. Fear may be present, whispering doubts or amplifying uncertainties, but courage is the decision to proceed even with fear in tow. This perspective is deeply liberating because it reframes fear not as a barrier but as a signpost of growth and challenge.
Power lies in the duality between fear and courage. Consider how the bravest individuals often speak of their experiences with fear, not as something they overcame completely, but as something they learned to manage while forging ahead. They talk about the discomfort, the racing heart, the self-doubt—but they also speak of their resolve to push through these feelings. This duality is what makes their acts of bravery so powerful.
What do you need in order to walk alongside your fear?